Those of you know me know that I have the worst time
sleeping and nothing seems to aide in me getting a good night’s rest. In fact I
would not be able to tell you the last time I got 7 or 8 hours of straight
sleep without waking up in the middle of the night.
“Dan, that happens to a lot of folks, just go back
to sleep!”
I wish it was that simple pretend reader asking me
pretend questions. It is this time when my brain starts talking to me. The
following is a true transcript between myself and myself during one of these
times:
“I really should finish Slothcano.”
“You think so? It’s not that good.”
“Its pretty good, I think it’s funny. It is still in
the first draft so I can improve it.”
“You should really decided how to get to the end of
that story your working on.”
“I have the ending already the main character is
going to [content removed] and the he will [content removed].”
“You should really ask [content removed] out one
day.”
“Nah, that isn’t worth it. It wouldn’t work out.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah what’s the point? Oh Hi samba!”
“How’s it going kitty. Let me bother you for a
moment.”
“Cats are better than dogs.”
“Yeah dogs always have a weird smell and are
annoying.”
“She is attractive though, you should just do it.”
“Whatever. I need a new job, I hate being poor.”
“Yeah you can’t work there anymore your starting to
snap.”
“I’m talking to myself.”
“I really should send more stuff to get published.”
“I should check my phone, maybe jam out or
something.”
“It’s 2 am I should sleep.”
“I need to do laundry.”
“You should have done it tonight while you were
doing nothing.”
“The Third Man
is such a brilliant film, I had to watch it.”
“And Jake Busey on Justified? He is just a crazy as
his father.”
“I wonder how it’s going to end. Sam Elliot is going
to get his head blown off.”
“I have to send this RSVP for Danny and Ali’s
wedding.”
“Can I get a date before the wedding or should I
just put only one attending?”
“I don’t get why people give me options.”
“What should I make for dinner tomorrow?”
“MMMM, Sausage stuff.”
“I have to wash my sweatpants before going out.”
“I should go to Sublime on Saturday and have a beer
alone.”
“Nah, pizza hut and beer and work on part three of
the story.”
“That still needs a title.”
“Simba you are so warm. You’re such a good kitty.
“All cats love me, it’s weird.”
“People hate you, cats love you. Sounds like a solid
future.”
“What the hell am I doing with my life?”
“Why did you even go to school?”
“I became a better writer.”
“You’re not that good, it’s probably not going to
get you anywhere in life.”
“Alexis, Christina, and Andrew seem to believe in my
talent.”
“It won’t get you anywhere.”
“You’re probably right. I need a new job.”
“I’m so hungry. I need food.”
“I need to sleep. I’m going to place my head between
my two pillows maybe that will help me sleep.”
“You should get up early tomorrow to write.”
“I really should get my hockey skates sharpened.”
“She doesn’t even like you.”
“I know that.”
“I really wish I could afford stuff.”
“Stupid loans.”
“Why do I work with such idiots?”
“It’s like a carnival in that place.”
“I don’t belong in offices I’m too politically
incorrect.”
“I can’t believe Jon Stewart is leaving the Daily Show.”
“I should have my own tv show.”
“Radio is probably better for someone of your looks.”
“I have a good voice.”
“It would have to be satellite radio because you
make dead baby jokes and things.”
“I really want sausage stuff.”
“Make it tomorrow. I really should get ordained and
marry Steph and Shaun. That would be fantastic.”
“Definitely put down just one for Danny’s wedding.
You won’t find a date before the wedding.”
“I’m going to get wasted. I never get wild.”
“I’m sleeping now.”
“Now who am I going to talk with? Simba?”
“………”
“Ok maybe I can sleep.”
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