Like a Good Neighbor

November is nearing its end and that is far more than I can say about my NaNoWriMo novel which will not be finished by days end like as was my goal, but it will get finished soon. As I said in the last few posts I am not doing any writing in November except that so I have no new content to offer. Instead, I have been sharing Reddit writing prompt inspired shorts, so today I bring you one last one for the month. Once December hits I will work on the next post of Movies That You Should Sit Down and Watch, but since it isn't December you get this slop. The prompt on this was "Write erotica of hilariously bad quality", enjoy, or don't I don't give a hoot.

P.s. This is NSFW, so I am just going to toss that out there awkwardly like a ceremonial first pitch from  50 Cent.

“Uhh. . . khakis.”

My wife slammed the phone into my chest.

“Well, she sounds hideous.” She seethed.

“Well, she’s a man,” I told her confused.

“Uhhh, so, sir what can state farm do for you tonight?” Jake spoke into my chest.

“I’m sorry Jake, my wife thinks I’m sleeping around and talking with hookers or something.”

“I’m Jake. . . from State Farm. You called about insurance.”

“I know, I know, but my wife doesn’t know that. I need you to come over.” Jake didn’t respond, “Jake?”

“I don’t think I’m going to do that Mr. Davidson,” Jake paused, I didn’t respond I could hear my wife throwing all of my things out the upstairs window into the lawn, “But looking over your policy I think we can save you $250 by combining your auto and home insurance.”

“Just come over Jake from State Farm. My wife will like it.”

“I’m going to end this conversation, sir. Have a nice night.”

“I didn’t want to do this Jake,” I took a deep breath and began to sing, “Like a good neighbor State Farm is here with Jake and a box of condoms in my living room.”

Jake appeared in the living room in a puff of smoke, wearing a red shirt and a pair of freshly pressed khakis. He frowned I smiled. “Hi there Jake, she is upstairs let’s go do this.”

“Where am I sir, I need to get home and walk my dog.”

“You can’t deny the jingle; it’s in your contract. Now let’s go upstairs.” Jake reluctantly followed with the box of condoms firmly grasped in his hand.

My wife was sitting on the edge of the bed crying, all of my drawers empty the contents all lying on the front lawn.

“Honey, I brought you a present.”

She looked up and saw Jake; he was chubby and blonde and looked like a younger version of myself: she was into it.

“Jake here is a dog person, but Jake why don’t you go show my wife you what you can do with a nice kitty.” Jake walked over to the bed and took my wife’s pants of and dove head first into her snatch like he was Greg Louganis, my wife screamed with pleasure. Her head swung back and her mouth wide open as her box was being munched like it was a $5 box from KFC. She screamed his name, Jake’s head bobbed back and forth as he covered every inch. I walked over and my wife pulled my pants down and started to thrust her mouth over my penis. I took her shirt off and started playing with her stiff nipples.

“Honey, today you finally see Paris.”

I stood my wife up and she stood in between me and Jake, her pussy dripping and her chest heaving. I bent her down and front of me and slid my cock into her vagina, she screamed wildly. I pounded her while Jake slid on a condom. Once it was on my wife paused and looked at his erect penis, “Like a good neighbor State Farm is here!” Jake said as my wife deep throated his penis. I looked over my wife at Jake and we double high-fived as we penetrated our members into my wife’s gaping holes.