Relationships and Writing

The more I write I realize that none of my characters have a healthy relationship. Seriously people are always divorced or murdering their significant other or deceived by them. It really dawned on me I have an incapability to write a character with function relationship. The closest I came to this was a shorty story where the woman is slowly dying a death and at the end they both die. Even my poetry is all about being alone and deceived by the other sex or the unwillingness to commit to something. I really cant figure out why I can't write something about love that doesn't involve a false sense of it or nicer being able to find or sustain it. One would think I was from a broken home or something, but that isn't the case at all. My parents have been married for  over 30 years (I'm not going to give the exact number because I honestly don't know, that's awful but also true so whatever) and they are still happy together. In fact I'm surrounded by happy relationships not perfect but happy. Couples always fight and so do the ones I'm surround by. My brothers, my sister, and nearly all of my friends are in long term healthy relationships yet when I write about love its from sort of depressed dark feeling about the emotion like I don't believe in it even though I see it everywhere I turn. Look at my last post for example. I was at a wedding where two people who love one another deeply became legally committed. I recognize that as love so what do I go and do? I continue writing a short story about a women who killed her abusive husband because apparently I'm some sick freak who just wants murder and mayhem instead of love and romance.

Maybe because I don't know what it's like to be in a relationship that doesn't end in being ghosted or heartbroken. Maybe it's because I'm terrified to express my feelings for another individual until it is too late and I get stuck in the mindset that I blew an opportunity. Maybe it is because I am unable to get this person out of my head regardless of how much a try.

Anyway with that all being said I think the real reason I don't know how to write about working relationships is because fuck that noise. I don't know what that is like and nor will I anytime soon so until then I will keep writing about dudes banging strippers/hookers because paying someone for false love is easier than maintain the real thing or i'll write chasing a woman who is playing him for the sucker he is (they are smarter than us, we as men need to just accept that). Or I'll keep writing stories about independent women doing shit without help from any one or killing a significant other who is detrimental to their physical and mental health.

One day you may see a post from me that involves two people in love and doing happy relationship things until they both die in a boating accident because that is a better story than love.

I'm sure you guys noticed this pattern but just know I'm a lonely sad puppy and ignored it. Thanks for that.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming of Spongebob gifs.

‪#‎PerzasInParadise‬

Today I want to write a quick post to congratulate my friend Yesabel on her special day. Sunday she married her now husband Nick and I couldn’t be more excited to have the opportunity to celebrate with them. Congratulations to you both and thank you for inviting me to join in the special day.

Before I get to the wedding I just want to say this: travelling is a hassle. It was worth it in the end, but why does it have to be so hard? I don’t mind going through security at all in fact all the TSA agents I encountered were super nice to me, though that could be because I followed the rules and listen to instructions. while other people struggle to put their shit in a bin. How hard is it? Empty your pockets slid off your shoes put it all in a bin or in one of your bags keeping your laptop in a separate bin. It’s not hard you morons. If everyone followed instructions things would go quick and smooth. I just hate people.

Anyway i finally got to my hotel and drank some beer at Applebee's before hitting the hay and getting up in the morning to get ready to celebrate. Now it took me forever to tie a tie but I looked good.

Ok this post is not about me, it is about Nick and Yessie so let me move on. It was raining all morning but as Florida does it cleared up and the sun came out in time for the ceremony.

We arrived and I said hello to all of Yessies cousins, aunts, and uncles: her parents were walking her down the aisle and I had to wait to say hello to them. I took a seat when the James Bond theme started to play.The groom and his groomsmen arrived via power boat then Yesabel began her walk to her new life. It was on of the nicest ceremonies I have been a part of and their vows they wrote one another were beautiful, and knowing Yessie the way I do I bet she grammar checked the shit out of hers even though no one was reading them but her. They were finally married:

And then we partied and as soon as the first Spanish song came on we hit the dance floor. It was a lovely eating and those potatoes. . . Yesabel call them and get me that recipe.

Now let me back track to a little more than three years ago when Yessie was making a huge change in her life and leaving the only home she knew to start her career in North Carolina. She was terrified of it all and I reassured her she was making the best decision for her future. I was only speaking career wise, but life changed so much more for her down there. She grew in her profession (though she hated some of the other nurses) she made some friends and she began doing online dating. I think she was doing it in Jersey too, but jersey guys on there are dicks I assume. She made me one and I never used it. Maybe I should have.

She got a message from guy and he looked attractive in his picture so she met him. They hung out a couple times and I would get a text “he is short” or “he is too nice.” I would reassure her that being nice should not be a dis-qualifier from her dating him. She was just being irrational and knew she was just scared of a commitment or getting hurt. Though she never said that. I’m just assuming.

I think she got busy at work and they her and Nick hadn’t spoke until one day I got a text from her saying that “I ran into that guy Nick at the gym.” A sign of fate. The moment I told her Nick was a keeper when she had a flat tire and Nick came to the rescue. Right then I knew they were destined for something.

Nick has been nothing but fantastic to her and I couldn’t ask anything more of someone marrying a good friend of mine. Nick even relocated his home to move to California for Yesabel and if that isn’t love I don’t know what is. He gave up whatever he was building in his home state, leaving behind his friends and family to move across the country without even having a job lined up just because he knew that this was the best opportunity for his love and he would probably go to the end of the earth for her and I know she would do the same because that is love.

Yesabel, you have been through the toughest time in my life and have pushed me to always be a better version of myself. You deserve the best and I am glad you found it and discovered yourself along the way.

Congratulations you guys the ceremony was wonderful and may the rest of your lives be fun and full of the love that brought you together.

Haiku Volume 7

Hey there everyone! Happy Haikuesday!! Today I bring to you a few more of my little poems i also bring to you the word 'orangeing' to signify the changing colors in leaves, so you're welcome in advance for that.

 I hope you enjoy them and feel free to share them with your friends, unless of course you think they suck they please keep them to yourself. Don't even share them with Squidward's house if you don't enjoy them. 

I'm sure you will like them and if that's the case feel free to show Squidward's house.

Anyway enough random ramblings and on with the show!

I

I say “I love you,”

but the words don't reach your heart

killing me inside.

II

Green leaves turn auburn.

A cool wind blows westerly

shaking the leaves free.

III

Gravestones mark our love.

Grass grows from our destruction:

Murder Suicide.

VI

In an empty field

a lone weeping willow stands

crying tears of snow.

V

Crows squawk violently

high in an orangeing tree

fighting for fall love.

VI

Daydreams lead to a

quick glance in your direction

met with a cold glare.

VII

Grass once green from life

now withers yellow with death

awaiting rebirth.

VIII

Blue turns to deep gray

with September hurricanes.

Bringing back the pain.

IX

Orange paints the sky

as the sun seeks a new day

and we roam the night.

Some Lame Poem That I Don't Have a Title For Because I Forgot I Wrote It and Just Found It In My Google Docs

I can’t get you out of my head.

As I toss and turn in bed

the words that I wish I said

before I left play in my head.

Sitting up at night alone

staring out at the night sky.

Thinking of life as it goes by

wondering if I’ll forever be alone.

My mind wandering like the Mississippi

dreaming of a future with you

with more warmth than summer in Mississippi.

Haiku Volume 6

It is Tuesday and you all know what that means right? That's right!! It is Haiku time!!

That may be a bit of an exaggerated response to little Japanese poems, but OK. Go change your underwear come back and enjoy the few Haiku I bring to you today!

I

We're parallel lines

loving from a close distance

never to cross paths.

II

My heart beats for you.

Hearing your name shakes it's core

breaking it for good.

III

A full moon above;

thirteens on the triple dice.

Someone may die now.

IV

Clouds rest in the blue.

Our souls drift away as one:

a heavenly love.

V

Acorns bash my skull.

Blood gives the deck a fresh stain.

Killed by a squirrel.

VI
Two souls on the shore
as the ocean washes us
eroding what's left.

VII
Her lips kiss softly.
She fucks with immense passion.
All in a nights dream.

VIII
Liquid distilled grains
floating down glass after glass.
The sorrows vanish.