Good day folks! Today I am bringing you what people who actually blog call a link up thing-a-ma-jig. This one (as you can see in the above image) is brought to you by my Good friend Alyssa over at her blog where she goes bang. Now she gave ten prompts and the goal, for me any way, is to just try and explore and explain myself a bit more, which I don’t do quite often her as this as become a place more for my creative writing than a place to discuss life.
She gave ten of these prompts, but knowing how inconsistent I am this one will be the only one I post. Now knowing I am not Alyssa’s target audience and not her typical reader I may end up being the only guy in this link up, but that is just an assumption and something I really don't care about.
Ok, I guess this is enough introduction to the post now allow me to get to my damn point.
The first prompt I am going to try and tackle is actually going to be prompt number one: Three (or however many you choose) songs that define your life and why. Now, those of who know me know that I love music, and for those of you who are new to this place: Hi my name is Dan and I love music, but there is a difference between loving music and trying to think about the songs that define me, or have defined a point in my 29 year long history, or even just help me reflect on who I am and where I want to be and for that I had to put in a lot of thought because I’m getting old and my memory is going.
For those of you unfamiliar with Joe he is a rapper from New Jersey (most famous for ‘Pump it Up’ also his song ‘Fire’ was in Mean Girls) and my personal favorite artist and the reason for this is simple: his music is relatable. His music is human. It's full of emotions and anyone who has ever dealt with love, heartbreak, depression, rejection, addiction, loss and really any other emotion or feeling can find solace in some of his words.
That will do for the artist, now onto this particular song. ‘Dreamerz’ is a song that is relatable to anyone who was in a relationship that kind of just deteriorated, as I have been. “Was on the same page:just in different books. There’s so much I want to say, but I got no ground because we ain’t break up, more like broke down.” It was these couple of bars that really felt close to my situation, this is how I used to define the end of this long term relationship. I always held it in the back of my head that I was really to blame in the deterioration of what I thought was a strong relationship and I think it was this that made me realize that no matter how much work I put in or how well I think things are sometimes shit just doesn't work. As Joe says sometimes ‘shit that's doesn't breathe can die too.’
I remember sitting in the bedroom I shared with my two brothers (one older and one younger) and my older brother would play this song all the time, and when he was gone I found myself playing it over and over. Though I was only 9 and didn't really understand what the song was about (now I do, but what 9 year old in the suburbs was thinking about racial injustice and police brutality?) I memorized every single lyric. This was the first song I could sing without having to even have the song playing and that in itself is an important to me since my brain is broken up as follows. Everytime the song plays I can’t help but jam out and think back to a time when I was without bills and my only responsibilities were cleaning my room and raking leaves. It reminds me of an easier time full of Sega Genesis and beating up and getting beat up by my siblings; oh the joyous bliss of childhood.
I have a love of hip hop music and I think Joe Budden’s self titled album is where it all began. I listened to hip hop before this album came out though it was more Eminem or the gangster hip hop that my brother was listening to, which I did and do enjoy, but it was this album and these three songs in general that really took it to another level. It showed me how introspective Hip Hop could be. I know this was Eminem’s M.O. on his first two albums as well, but for some reason Joe’s lyrics really got to me and also showed me that the hip hop that played on the radio was watered down and I needed more, so I had to dig deep to find hip hop that wasn’t just about killing people and dealing drugs and Joe Budden fits that mold. Name one other solo artist who was able to have a 10 minute long song about relationship issues, family issues and all the other issues that came with his newfound fame? Not even Em would be able to get away with that on a major label.
Why was this introspection important to me when this album came out and to me to this day? Because like all people i have shit in my head, but unlike others I never ever speak about anything so I turn to music for therapy and since 2003 Joe has been one of my therapists whose raw emotion and unfiltered music has helped through a lot of difficult times in my life.
I recommend you go through his discography and give it a listen, if you want particular song recommendations I'll be here.
Moving to a lighter note I’ll take us back to when I was in my early 20s being forced to go out to crowded Morristown bars on Friday or Saturday nights. I never really wanted to go to these places, I hate crowds, I hate loudness, I hate overpriced drinks, and I hate being out until 2 in the damn morning. This isn’t just me know as a 80 year old in a 29 year old body, but this was me as a 70 year old in a 21 year old body: I have always been a grump. But I can’t say there weren't times when I did have fun out, and those times where I wasn’t being a super grump I made sure to go up to the DJs who were usually playing awful techno remixes or top 40 music and requested this song, not only because it would be a nice change of pace, but also to watch everyone's reaction when it started playing or the DJ laugh at us requesting the song, but more often than not they played the song for us and it made the night a bit more tolerable.
This whole album (minus one song) is my jam, but this song in particular just reminds me of a certain person whom I wish was in my life more often and who I miss dearly. A person who has been an inspiration for many of my poems. A person who always built up confidence in myself and my ability even when I was doubting myself. Everytime this song comes on I think of her and all she represented. That’s really it on this song, but it played while I was writing this so I added it here.
