Sunday, August 30, 2015

You Could Always Get Something Worst*

Today's post was supposed to be a letter directed to You, but I didn't have the courage to share it with You nor the courage to share my feelings for you with anyone but you. So instead of that I am just going to sum up where my life is at right now because why the fuck not this is my space and I can do what I please.

So let me start off with You. To sum up the letter I wrote (obviously omitting your name and anything that would let people know who you are because neither of us need outsiders nonsense involved. I touched base on what I said to you through our text conversations. If You want me to I will send this to you, even if you don't want me to I may just because it was stuff I needed to add. I just have been in an awkward mind state since I spilled my feelings to you on Monday. I didn't want to, if it was up to me I would have never said a word, but you forced it out of me by the things you said. I feel for you like I haven't for anyone in a long time hence why I never said anything. It terrifies me to have feelings. I keep them hidden from everyone including myself, but I haven't stopped thinking about you or our conversation. I just need to try and step away from everything to get my mind back on track because I know where our lives are (yours mainly I suppose) we can't be anything.

So if You do not hear from me you know why. If you are not You do not ask who You is because I would not tell you.

Now I am listening to the new album from The Weekend and I can't help but seeing our situation and my feelings in a lot of the lyrics. I mean not the ones about blatant drug abuse and fucking bitches, but you know the other stuff.

On a side note: go listen to his new album because it is fucking fantastic. He has a song with Lana Del Rey who has been in rotation on my Spotify a lot lately and the collaboration is brilliant. As is the whole album. So go listen to the album.


I love how I didn't want to share anything with the world then proceeded to do so anyway.


Any-who, Now that that is out of the way on to the rest of my life.

I am still working at a call center which is far from what I want to do and it is starting to really wear down on me paired with my confused emotions this past week I am really approaching my breaking point. Nearly three years working in a call center will do that to any ambitious person.

Now I need to be honest I did have one job offer but I turned it down because after weighing the pros and cons of this other position the cons won out. I just felt it was better to stay miserable where I am then go to another job that is nothing near what I want to do nor would  provide any experience toward that goal. Would I be happier? Maybe, but It may have just been marginal, so I stayed put and just keep searching.

My friend put me on to a few recruiters she has had some success with so I am setting up with them now and hopefully I can locate something through them and move on to a better place to help me get out of this nasty funk I'm in. I also think it would be nice for you guys the reader to stop hearing about this job and the slight depression it causes.

It is also slightly depressing that my financial situation is completely fucked. It has been a rough month and September is going to be worse since I have two weddings to go to and they are both out of state. I did get a reprieve because I thought they were the same week but I apparently can't read and messed up the second one so I have an extra two weeks in between them!
That will ease the financial burden slightly which is nice. I hope to get back to stability by October though my next life thing may keep that from happening.

I am going to join an Ice Hockey league. This is something that I have been wanting to do all my life and I am finally making the jump to do it and I'm pretty excited. I have been playing hockey for a long time, but it was always roller hockey and I like to pretend I'm pretty good that. Then this last winter I bought ice skates and for the first time in my life played ice hockey: my skill is not as high as with roller, but I think I can get there soon enough. My buddy had me play with his team the other day and I didn't do great, but it was exciting to be out there and I can't wait to get better as a played and have fun while doing it. If you want to donate to my cause hit me up. Maybe I'll make a Kickstarter. People seem to do that these days.
So I think that pretty much sums up everything in life now. It is pretty shitty but I always tell myself, as a former supervisor once said "you could always get something worst." That is true. life could always be worse, but it could also always be better, so here is to hoping I get out of this funk and back to my same happy unemotional having self.


See you Tuesday for some Haiku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






*Yes I know this is incorrect. It is an inside joke over at my job. It comes from an email form a supervisor and I find it hilarious that he never noticed the error and made it several times. 

Saturday, August 29, 2015

Century Mark


Welcome, today I invite you here to help me celebrate a very special occasion: On Wednesday I reached my 100th post (it only took four plus years and nearly half of them were from this year). Regardless of how long it took I feel like I accomplished something so let me take a minute and make it virtually rain

Now don’t go and count because it will show this one as being the 100th because I had to revert my most read post ‘Finding Happiness’ back to a draft due to some slight and humorous legal issues. It shall stay in blog purgatory forever.

When I first started this blog while sitting in a bench at Montclair State University (a place I spent most of my time people watching and reading) I had no idea what I was doing with it. It didn't have a direction or a goal. In fact it still is pretty much a clusterfuck of random thoughts. I still don't know what the purpose of it all is, but it gives me a place to display my work while trying to hone my skill. I like to think I made some progress in that aspect, but I am no where near where I would like to be.

My first post was a rough around the edges rant about opinions. It really set the tone for the rest of my blog. It provided my voice and let you guys know that I have no fucking clue how to maintain one of these.  I really still don’t. I have no clue what the purpose or goal of my blog is, but hey you read it and I keep writing things. It helped me focus on finishing stories, allowed me a place to discuss movies, turn my repressed emotions into poetry, and let you guys enjoy my work. One thing I should bring back is my ‘Bro-Codeology’ series (though I don’t know if two posts nearly four years ago count as a series).

My posts the first few years were sporadic and really didn’t show how much I worked on my craft. It wasn’t until recently that I churned out more posts and more non posted things. This year I really put my pen to the paper and worked hard on my craft with a lot of support from my close friends and I want to take this moment to thank you for your support.

First to my siblings, though I'm pretty sure Andrew is the only one who actually reads this shit, but thanks to all three of you regardless for your love and support in life not just with my writing. I know you guys will always be there if I need anything. I may never ever tell you what's in my mind or talk to you about anything but knowing that I can is enough.

I want to thank Christina for being my on call editor and fantastic Amiga. I know you may not read everything on here but I also know if I want to send anything to get published you will be more than happy to edit it and assist me improving my work. I'm sad you will be moving a far distance away but I'll do my best to make frequent trips down for sushi.

While I'm on the Bosco's: Lauren my poems aren't about you!!!! But thank you for reading them and giving me feedback. It is appreciated. If you want to know who some of the poems are about you can text me and I will be more than happy not to tell you, but feel free to ask.

This year like is mentioned above has been my highest volume not just of what has been posted on here but also in terms of my writing in general and I owe some of that to my good friend Alexis. You may not know nor care but you were a big motivator for me. You were always there to critique or praise my stuff and that is beyond helpful. I needed the extra push and you provided it for me. A simple thanks would not suffice, so I’ll buy you a beer. You da best!

I cant move on without thanking my friend Yesabel as well. You are the one that had me start this thing, you told me I had talent, but needed a place to hone it. So this blog is kind of your idea, not really but sort of.

I’m sure I missed people, but thank you to all of you who support me and continue to read and push me.

Now that i am done thanking people I really want to talk about myself for a little bit. I feel like I don’t do that enough.

I want to thank myself for working harder this year. Just keep working and it will eventually pay off somehow. You need to stop doubting yourself (I am talking to myself here so just bare with me) you have a gift and need to utilize it. But besides that congrats on 100 I guess it is some sort of accomplishment. . . .SYKE. You just posted 100 random piles of garbage get over yourself you fucking nerd!

Wow, you don’t need to be a dick head. Fuck you guy. I don't need your bad vibes in my life right now I have enough shit going on. Jeeeezzz.

Anyway, I hope assholes opinion isn't the majority. Let us toast (go pour a drink and toast with me) to many more posts and hopefully one day you guys will be able to actually buy a book or something of mine to stabilize your kitchen table, or if you get ambitious enough you can read it.

Thanks again everyone!

Now someone give me a god damn trophy!

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Winter Dream

The wind blew rogue snow flakes into her hair as she stood staring at me. I wanted to brush them away. I wanted to bring her close and warm her lips with mine. I wanted to hold her while the stars glistened high above. I just stood with my hands in my sweatpants' pockets. She shifted her weight from leg to leg as the dim light from outside the bar shined around her head like a halo. She was my angel, but my nerves kept her an untouchable heavenly creature. I wished I could climb into her head and find out if she was thinking about me the way I thought of her. Silence floated around us like the smoke from our breath.

The bar door opened and laughter broke our quiet. Her head spun to watch the commotion. Her scent drifted to me. I took a deep breath and let her fill my imagination: our two bodies naked pressed against each other her voice in my ear telling me how it feels. Our skin sweating as we hold each other after my arms wrapped around her hips as I place a gentle kiss on her neck.

The loving couple jumped into their Audi and drove off snapping me back to my aching heart of reality. Their absence left me with the women of my dreams. She now faces me a smile on her face. I look toward the ground hoping somewhere in the snow I would find my balls. A few cigarette butts, some shoe prints, a fresh pile from a small dog, but not one set of testicles. I lifted my head and her smile was gone. We said our goodbyes and I watched her behind sway as she walked to her car.

I walked to mine replaying the night in my head. The moment in the bar where I clutched her leg, the moment she sipped my beer, and my following sip where I could taste her. The moment in the parking lot where I should have brought out the sun.

I watched her car as it left. It was gone and I dropped my head back into my leather seats. The car was freezing cold, but my mind drifted far beyond the physical realm of my reality and back to the world I could have. The world where the sun rise creeps into the open window and the crows squawk as she wakes up in my arms. A world where she glances up with a slight smile as I kiss her forehead and welcome her to the day. A world which we hide from together hiding in each other in the soft bed. A world of my dreams.

I started my car and pull out of the spot replaying my missed opportunity with the woman I want the woman I need. 

I cursed myself. The words fogged from my frustrated lips.

My car arrived without me remembering how I drove it. My thoughts raced like an Indy car driver spinning on the shores of Monaco. With a numb body I wandered through the dark finding my stiff lonely bed. My head hit the pillow drifting to the dreams of the reality I yearn to find.


Monday, August 24, 2015

Fantasy

Every word you say
every word you write
stays on my mind every day.

I'm waiting for the time to be right
so I can open my lips and say
the words to make you stay.

But until that day
I'll remain away to keep my heart safe.

Knowing rejection is on its way
I'd rather live in a fantasy:
the world of my dreams
where your're mine.


In that fantasy
the love is real.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

Dreaming of a Better Career

As I may have mentioned in passing on this blog in the past my current job is not anything great. In fact it is far from anything what I want to do with my life, but it pays my bills and hasn't made me jump out of a window just yet, so that's a plus I guess. Also to keep my self from hanging myself with my mouse cord I tend to talk about absurd things and make inappropriate jokes that should never be said in an office setting, but I say what I feel because I know my coworkers and bosses and they all know I am only "joking". Also, they all seem to like me which is bizarre because I'm not a nice person. In fact today (while I'm writing this not when I'm posting this or you're reading it because I'm sure they aren't the same) some of my newer coworkers said they would miss me if I left. Mind you they have only been there for a little while, but I'm sure if you talk to others they may say the same thing. I like to think I add a bit of fun to an otherwise monotonous daily grind.

To all of my coworkers: you're welcome.

There have been times while working I have dreamt of taking a career change and along the way would recruit the whole office into wanting to drop our headsets and walk out. I should have just Jerry Maguried it, but I need to pay bills so it would be to risky. This brings me to the point of today's post, if you can actually call it a point. This post seems to be illogical, nonsensical, and purely written because I'm overly tired and can't go to be until my laundry finishes drying, but really I don't sleep anyway which is why I am overly exhausted.

Anyway.

I want to discuss these career paths I dreamed of while trying to decipher what redneck booze-hounds with a credit score lower than their IQ are actually saying (hint it's something about Jesus killing terrorists and illegal immigrants with an M16).

The first of the two ideas was a great one though the financing and logistic of it all were enough to leave it in the harbor of thought and not materialize into the ocean of reality.

I think it was like any other wonderful weekday morning where I was working overtime and I was miserable when I stood up and said to my coworker/supervisor that there had to be a better way. He of course being mostly sober agreed with me. What thought came to my mind first?

Pirates.

Yep. Pirates. I said “fuck it, let's get a pirate ship and go pillage, rape, and be merry.” His reaction?
I just went on about how great it would be. The freedom. I needed that. I don't want 8 bosses coming up to me telling me I fucked up the cover on the latest TPS report. As I pirate ship captain the only boss I would have would be Poseidon. I would be my own leader.

So I did the next logical thing an aspiring Black Beard would do: shop for a functioning pirate ship. It didn't take long for my boat to pop up on my phone. She was a beauty and sat in the Caribbean waiting for a crew of scalawags to buy 'Er up and set sail. Below are some photos of it, and here is the full link for more.

We just needed the $750,000 (I know, what a deal!) and to get to Honduras and the Caribbean would be ours! I recruited several people in the office slowly building a formidable crew, but as the weeks passed the amount of money we needed to buy it was just to much for a bunch of call center employees. That's when a light bulb blew up in my brain: “We are pirates, why would we buy the ship and not just steal it?”

Well as you may know this is not being posted from some Caribbean island where I lay eating fresh sugar can, drinking the finest rum, and being pleasured by a endless supply of local women. I should have done it, but the pirate life just wasn't inside me I guess.

I moved on.

This next idea started because some awful rap song was playing. I'm pretty sure this is the one, if not it was very similar. Anyway the point is I said that it was awful yet making money, I should just do this. I can make better raps than these illiterate assholes.

Thus my rapper alter ego 'Buck Fifty' was born.

Buck Fifty's main goal was to bring to light how awful the state of radio hip hop is. Buck did not take himself seriously nor did he actually think he can rhyme or rap. It is an art that for some reason has become a thing that every shit head thinks they could make (one of the rhymes Buck wrote that I am sharing below touches on the state of hip-hop) and Buck just wanted to show people how stupid they are for allowing such drivel to thrive.

Buck's lyrics are mostly about triple B's. A triple B is a big booty bitch or big breast bitch whatever you want to call it. Buck has a lot of intercourse and apparently is a pimp, both things of which I do not do making his rhymes me unable to relate. Also he seems to love to disrespect females, but he is kinda of an uneducated moron so he doesn't realize it is 2015 (14 when the rhymes were written) and you cannot go around being a dick, but he did.

Let's take a look at some of these rhymes
I'm not sure how dick and shit rhyme, but Buck likes to take his Poetic license 


These two go together and I think they actually are pretty good at getting across the state of him hop

That is just disgusting Buck. You need fucking help.

Apparently his hoes will not do it for free. So make sure you have cash or a money order.

She was probably better stripping then slumming with you Buck.

Awful and disgusting.

But the point is I got the office involved. They would all ask when the album was dropping (and by all I men like two). Or I would just shout “twelve four fourteen!” Which was my intended release date for Buck's debut album “Panty Droppers”. I was anticipating all the panties to hit the floor when that compact disc first hit stores, but like the pirate plan this to died. Well the dream didn't die Buck Fifty actually took his own life.

Lets pour one out for our homey.

Well now like my dreams of becoming a pirate or changing the game this post must end, so I shall go fold my laundry and maybe sleep.

You guys let me know in the comments what absurd ideas you have come up with while stuck at a dead end job

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Haiku Volume 5

I was up one night last week and unable to sleep so I did what any other normal person would do: I wrote Haiku!

I knew you would be excited!

I found a literary journal that publishes Haiku, and I thought I would try and send some, but it does not allow me to send ones that have been posted on the inter-webs, and since I felt some of my best ones have been posted i figured i will work on a superior batch of fresh ones to send for publication, but in the mean time I wanted to drop this batch off.

So read and enjoy, and always feel free to leave comments about which ones you liked, hated, or just say hello! 

I
“When will the sun shine
and thaw out your frozen heart?”

When will you return?

II
Once upon a time
the sun shone bright over us.
Now the rain won't end

III
Snow showers in June
as the world turns upside down
waiting for your return.

IV
Rumbling thunder,
lightning flashes, and rain pours
as our lips lock.

V
The red cardinal
flies freely through the bright sky.
Ended by Windex.

VI
The record spins round
as we touch for the first time.
Me inside of you.

VII
Steel in my fingers;
a former love on my mind.
Her soul heads skyward.

VIII
The fan whirls above.
The puppy pants his fat tongue:
dos days of August.

Friday, August 7, 2015

I Want It Physically

I posted a long drawn out Facebook status this morning regarding my stance on the new Dr. Dre album “Compton: A soundtrack”. For those who saw it you know what I was ranting about, but for those who didn't get to see it or are not my friends on that social forum (mainly those random readers overseas that somehow find there way to my blog) view the long post below.



I also went on a semi rant on twitter last night (I guess technically this morning)



Follow me over at my creative at name @DanPerrucci, I rant sometimes and am pretty entertaining: in my own mind that is. I also once was retweeted and return tweeted by the Hip Hop Magician, so I got that going for me.

Pond is probably better for me though.

Now while I was writing this one of my friends (real life as well as Facebook) asked me on my above FB status “is all of that effort worth it for a song that sounds the same downloaded as it does on CD?”

I mean my buddy makes a valid point, is it really worth it? The simple answer is: yes.

I need something to hold, to touch, to own. I feel when I purchase something digitally I don't own anything.

For example I refuse to buy a kindle, I want a book. I want to smell the pages as they age, I want to hear the sound they make when I turn it. I want to highlight my favorite quotes and scribble in the margins.

The same goes for music, while I love Pandora and Spotify when an album comes out from certain artists I will always buy a physical copy.

I will always buy a Joe Budden CD because he is by far my favorite artist and I will support him. I will always buy a Roots CD because they never disappoint. I will always buy a Black Milk CD because he is super underrated and beyond talented. And I said during the years I spent since the release of '2001' I will buy the next and last Dre album. He doesn't need the money, the guy is filthy rich, but he is donating his royalties from the album to a good cause.

Yes, I know buying it off of Itunes will have the same effect on the outcome of his royalties, but it is missing something. Why pay $14 dollars for something you cannot touch? Maybe it is me just being old, maybe it is me being anti-technology, but in the end it seems like a stupid purchase.

I just want a CD, is that too much to ask for? The album is available now for purchase via Itunes, but fuck that noise. I will patiently wait until August 21st when I can buy a real copy of the album. I refuse to use Itunes to buy music. I have made two purchases on Itunes in my life only because I had a gift card, and those were CDs I would have never purchased otherwise.

I will not even stream this album prior to tearing open the packaging. It is my own protest against the digital age.

That last line makes me fell like I'm an old man and not someone who just turned 28. Just so every one is aware I love technology (though I did have a conversation about going back to flip phones so, yeah), but give me a CD, Record, DVD, or a book over the digitized versions any day.




RIP to Sam Goody and Tower Records, you will be forever missed.


Monday, August 3, 2015

Title TBA


Part VIII

            I entered into a large living room. The floor was entirely Macassar Ebony hardwood dotted with extravagant carpets. Two plush leather couches faced a large stone fireplace. A Picasso painting hung high above the fireplace with an ivory candle holder on either side. A door on the left side of the room began to slide open. I turned quickly to fire the Remington: nothing discharged. I dropped it to the ground and dove behind one of the couched as return fire littered the elegant living room. I pulled out both my pistols and fired over the top of the couch.

There was no return gunfire so I took a moment to listen to catch any sound, but there was only silence. I slid the snub nose back into my jacket pocket, re-holstered the PPK, and picked up the Remington. I grabbed the last few shells from my pocket and loaded the shotgun. I stood up keeping the gun pointed at the door there were no bodies: living or otherwise. As I turned the corner into the other room I felt something rip into my right shoulder. I dropped the Remington and fell to the ground. I inched over behind another couch and pulled the snub nose out and held it in my left hand. I heard the French doors open and the ensuing firefight. I jumped to my feet—jump may be an overstatement it was more of a hobble. I fired the snub nose at two fat Italian greaseballs who were more concerned with Dermot than me. They both dropped to the expensive floor. I wasn't sure if it was from my shots or Dermot's but they were dead, so I had that going for me.

            “Two times now.”

            I staggered back over to the open French doors. Dermot was sprawled on his back on the patio. A small pool of blood was growing under him as he held his nub to his stomach and clutched his TEC with the other. I knelt by him.

            “I saved your arse two times now.” he coughed and spat out a small amount of over his pale face. “Go finish tha job. I'll be here when ya done.”

            I left him there and headed back into the house stepping over the two bodies and into a lavish kitchen. Stainless steel appliances were surrounded by pyrolave countertops and the same hard wood floors as in the living room. More shots came from the other side of the kitchen. I took cover behind one of the three kitchen islands: I guess you could call it a kitchen archipelago. I could hear soft footsteps approaching me. I peered around the island and saw a pair of alligator shoes stepping closer. I shot and killed them again. As the man occupying them fell in pain and I took the opportunity to make him match his lifeless footwear. I stayed crouched and pocketed my snub nose, which was out of cartridges, and picked up the dead man’s Heckler & Koch VP70. 

            As I headed out of the kitchen I started to feel woozy from a combination of the new wound in my shoulder and the old one in my abdomen which could not had have many stitches left holding it together. I tried to move as fast as I could.

            I entered the dining room and made a left down a long hallway. I walked to the end of the hall where I was greeted by a locked door. I took a step back and shot the knob off and pushed my way in.

            “Damn you are good darling,” I was greeted by a familiar face; Kathy sat at a large birch desk with a Glock 26 pointed at me. “Don't worry I won't shoot you unless this goes awry, but we have something special, so I'm sure we will be fine. Put the gun on the floor and have a seat.”

I didn't drop the weapon I just stared blankly. Her gray eyes returned my gaze. She smiled: I was too hurt and tired to do anything but stare.

            “You really got messed up out there. I don't know why I bother employing any of these people they can't even stop one person from entering.”

            She stood up and walked toward me keeping her pistol pointed at my heart. She grabbed the pistol from my hand throwing it to the floor. I tried to swat at her but she punched me in the wounded shoulder. I let out a scream. She reached into my jacket and took my Walther from its holster and tossed it to the side. She did the same thing with the snub nose.

            “Now have a seat.” she kissed my cheek and went back to sitting behind her desk. I sat across from her.

            “Two.” I whispered.

            “Excuse me?”

            “I wasn't alone. I had an Irishman with me.”

            “Where’s the Mick now?”

            “Staining your expensive patio.” My mind went over to Dermot dying on the patio and me dying in this office.

            “We had something, right?”

I didn't answer.

“We did. I really wanted it to go another way. It is hard meeting people. It will be even more difficult now that I have an enterprise to run.”

            “Can I smoke?”

            “Be my guest.”

            I pulled out the pack of smokes and lit one. The tobacco rushed to my lungs: it felt wonderful.

            “That's a disgusting habit Jason. I'm sure if we stuck it out I would have gotten you to quit, but that went out the window when I found out who you were being contracted by,” she frowned slightly. “Maybe we can work something out and you can come work for me and we can reignite those sparks. What do you say? Do you want to come work for a real organization and not some Canadian Mountie outfit?”

            “I'd prefer to work for them. They didn’t try to kill me a few days after fucking me.”

            “Come on Jason it was just business, not personal.”

            “I figured you would pull that grease-ball line out. Trust me you aren't as convincing as Brando and rumor has it he gave great head and I can't say that for you.”

            That pissed her off. She shot me in my wounded shoulder.

            “Last chance to work for me or I leave your body slumped there in that chair until I find one of my employees you didn't kill to dump you in the marshes.”

            I stood up and walked over to the corner where a bar was set up. I put out my American Spirit in a crystal ashtray and lit myself another one. I poured myself a whiskey and returned to my seat across from the brunette beauty. 

            “We could have had something, but you turned out to be a major cunt.”

            “Do we need the harsh language?”

            “I think when the shoe fits you should shove it up your ass— kinda where I was shoving things.”

            I stirred the single ice cube around in my glass with my finger. The pain of moving that arm killed my shoulder, but I thought the coolness factor outweighed my pain.

            “So you want me to work for you after you tried to kill me?”

            “Your abilities will be better served with us than those Nordique freaks.”

            “I didn't even know they were Canadian I just know they pay extremely well.”

            “I can match their pay scale,” she cracked a smile, “and I could give you a little something extra,” she sure thought highly of her sexual abilities.

            I took the final drag of my cigarette and put it out in another ashtray that sat on her desk probably left from her father's reign. I stared at her. A part of me wanted to take her offer because we had a lot of fun together, but another part wanted to watch her die. One part was bigger than the other.

            “That's all great, but you tried to have me killed and they haven't,” I downed my drink giving it a moment to flow down my throat. “Besides, they have better whiskey.”

            I stood up quickly and threw the glass at Kathy's symmetrical face. It shattered on impact. Her finger pulled down on the Glock’s trigger: I felt a 9mm slug enter my stomach. I dove across the desk and tried to grab the gun from her hand. She pulled the trigger again shattering liquor bottles across the room. She slammed her bloody head into my nose. I felt the crunch as the bone shattered.

            I released my grip and I was sprawled across the desk. Kathy stood up and aimed the barrel at my throat.

            “I really liked you to.”

            Before she could finish me off I grabbed the ashtray and bashed it across her hand. The gun fell to the ground. I hit her across the face with my crystal weapon then I rolled off of the desk and rushed to grab one of the guns she tossed. I picked one up and turned as Kathy took a shot that struck the wall behind me piercing a Monet painting. I fired back with the Heckler & Koch VP70 breaking off the left side of her skull.

            I fell to my knees. My stomach hurt like a bitch, but I was alive. I struggled back to my feet and stumbled out of the office back down the hall. The compound was silent and I could hear the faint sound of sirens approaching.

            I made my way to the patio where Dermot laid in a pool of his freezing blood. I picked him up and tossed him over my shoulders. As soon as his body landed on them I dropped to my knees again as his weight put more pressure on my bullet ridden shoulder. I put him back down on the ground and dragged him by his foot with my one good hand. The sirens blared as I heard police out front as I reached the rear gate.

            Dragging Dermot along I headed through woods, past the pond, and back to the dirt rode. A Ford Pinto never looked so gorgeous. The sound of sirens was now distant again. I put Dermot in the passenger seat and took my spot behind the wheel and sped as fast as the pile of bolts would take us. I made a call to Pat to have him get the doctor prepped for surgery

            The moon broke through the clouds as I pulled the car in front of Mulligan’s. Pat and a few other Irishmen rushed out of the bar. Two of them carried Dermot into the bar and another took the car to a safe hiding spot.

            My phone rang with a number I didn't recognize. I answered it.

            “Good evening Jason.” a soft voice spoke, “I tallied your bill for the damage at my place and  it came to one dinner at Giannini's Friday night.”

            I was silent. I stood in front of the bar under the shining full moon as my blood dripped to the snow.

            “Say around seven?” She said breaking the silence.


            “Sure, but not Italian. I've had my fill of Italian shit for a while.”