This is a piece of fiction I started. This is the very, very , very, very first write of the first section. I wanted to get an idea of how shitty it is so I know how much to change it around. Please be as mean and brutally honest as possible. I know it sucks, but it is a first draft. I love the idea so if I can get some help from other writers to make it more readable and enjoyable that would be spectacular. Thanks.
You ever meet someone and instantly want to take your fist and use them the way Chris Brown did to Rhianna? I seem to have that reaction every time I meet a new person. Some tell me I may be depressed and take that depression and turn it into hatred for people who are happy. Yeah, it is absurd to me too. I'm not depressed, I'm actually happy; people just genuinely piss me off. They don't have to do anything; just the way they look aggravates me. Most people just say I'm an asshole—when they want to be nice; I guess that's it, I'm just a cynical person and I hate almost everyone and everything.
It was always like this, my psychiatrist say it’s because my parents shunned me and didn’t love me, so it made me afraid to let anyone near me. He says “I’m emotionally scarred”, but he is a cock-stain who thinks because he has a PhD that he is better than me, so everything he says I take with a grain of salt. There is no deep reason, people just rub me the wrong way, and it has made my life difficult, and gotten me into a lot of trouble over the years. For instance, when I was a freshman at Theodore Roosevelt High School, I was eating my lunch at a table all by myself as was my usual routine. Just so you know I could have had friends, people wanted to be my friend; I just didn't want to be theirs. Anyway, I was just sitting there and some pig faced ass-hat approached me, and began to tell me something. I heard no words, it just sounded like an adult from Peanuts. The reason I couldn't hear his words was because I was just disgusted by his up turned nose and yellow teeth with a gap between the front two that you . I couldn't take it anymore, so I stood up and swung my lunch tray straight across his face. Little did I know that goofy bastard was the vice principal, and he was just walking around introducing himself to the new students? Well I never saw him again; I got to spend my freshman year in a juvenile detention center. I did hear though, that after that incident they switched to Styrofoam lunch trays.
As you can imagine, my parents were thrilled at this, so as a reward they ignored me even more, and provided as little as they were required to by law, and once I turned 18 I was on my own.
Now I'm 29, and I hate everyone more than ever. I was close to turning around my thoughts, I fell in love. Yeah, me; a giant walking rectum, fell for a woman. I can remember the day I saw her, I was walking down to the corner deli, and she was across the street walking her pug. Even from across the busy main street I could see the beauty of her figure, in that red sun dress and the way she walked showed some sort of confidence, I was stopped in my tracks. I just watched as she continued down the street, and I must say this, even though it is a cheesy saying, I hated to see her leave, but I loved to watch her go. The ass on this girl was like a sculpture, it was perfect; a nice round rump that ran into her even more stunning legs. If I had any confidence in myself I would have ran up to her right then and there and swooped her off her feet. But confidence in my social skills was not my best attribute, in fact I was as socially inclined as a kid with Down-syndrome hooked on crystal meth. With females it was even worse. I haven't had a real girlfriend in my life. I'll pause so you asswipes can laugh, “Ha-ha: he was 29 and never had a girlfriend.”
I was determined to change; I was determined to make this girl mine. Most people laugh at the following story, but those people don’t believe in love at first sight. This is the story of finding love and the battle to keep it. This is the story of a Cynic in Love.
