Throwback Thursday: Music on the Telly

There are many things this generation doesn’t understand like the Walkman and Discman, VHS tapes, or flipping pages of a CD case to find what jams to pop in. They will never know what it was like digging through an entire set of Encyclopedia Britannica’s to find some information for a research paper.  Kids these days will never have to call a crushes home number and have an awkward moment of speaking with their parents or siblings and then having to be careful what you said because you were attached to the wall in the kitchen by a cord and anyone can hear the conversation. They will never enjoy the bliss of 'Celebrity Death Match'. They will never get the appeal of 8 or 16 bit video game systems with controllers with only a few measly buttons. Nor will they would they be able to fathom people getting robbed for their Starter Jackets. I mean they were the coolest trend of the 90's, as explained by BuzzFeed, but getting robbed for them? Wild.

People actually got robbed and killed for these things.

No, kids these days just will never understand our struggle, just like we will never understand the previous generation’s struggles (I mean can you imagine walking to school in three feet of snow? And can you imagine doing that while going uphill . . . both ways!?!?!?). One thing I feel really bad for this stupid generation is that they will never understand music videos.

Yes, I get they still make them but they really aren’t the same.

Remember before the YouTube was all the rage and you had to wait all day to try and get to see your favorite music video? Remember when MTV stood for ‘Music Television’ and not ‘awful reality shows and other horrible crap that makes me wish Y2K was real and killed us all’? Remember when we rushed home from school to watch Carson Daly countdown the top ten videos? Remember people standing outside in all sorts of weather just so they could get a glimpse of their favorite artist standing at a window a few stories above? Remember when they hyped up the world premier of new videos for a week until it was finally the day? Remember VH1 and ‘Pop Up Video’?

If you don’t I feel awfully sorry for you. If you do then this is the post for you! I am giving ten random videos that I have always remembered. These are far from the best songs from our generation, but they are videos that were awesome.

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm- Crash Test Dummies

This song is fucking awful and makes absolutely no damn sense and neither does the video, but for some reason this dumb video has always stuck with me, so here it is.

Fantastic Voyage- Coolio

When people think about Coolio they automatically go to ‘Gangsta’s Paradise, but not me I go to this jam. It’s a fun song and an even better video; I mean Coolio gets help from some sort of pimp genie to turn his bike into a sweet car that carries an entire party to the beach in its truck. The entire video people from all walks of life came out of the trunk to join Coolio; which taught us that regardless of our skin color or age we all just want to party.

Criminal- Fiona Apple

I remember this video very distinctly, but the lyrics seem to always evade me. The video makes it seem like Apple is being forced into some sort of 70's style orgy; it is kind of creepy and I can never tell if she is enjoying herself or trying to find an escape route.

Miserable- Lit

I only can remember the lyrics to one Lit song and this is not that one. At the same time I can only remember one video by Lit and that is this one. A miniature band climbing all over a giant Pam Anderson how I could I not remember this one?

Virtual Insanity- Jamiroquai

The video takes place in one room where Jamiroqui slides and moves furniture all the while wearing some absurd hat that would have only been cool in the 90s. At one point a crow flies through the set for some reason. The only thing that would have made this video better is if at the end he back slid or moon walked out of the door. 

Also, what the fuck is a Jamiroqui?

. . . Baby One More Time- Britney Spears

I was unsure what song of Mrs. Britney’s to put up here because she had several memorable ones (mainly because I was teenager and she was hot), but none more than the one that brought her to us. Dressed up in a schoolgirl uniform she was ever teenage boy’s (and pedophile’s) wet dream, and she made catchy songs that wouldn’t get out of your head. 

The Bad Touch- Bloodhound Gang

If any of you have ever listened to any other Bloodhound song outside of The Bad Touch you would know that they are completely absurd, so when they sung(?) about intercourse by comparing us to the rest of the animal kingdom while dressed in monkey suits you wouldn’t have been surprised in the slightest, I mean they have a song called ‘Vagina’ where the intro is a conversation between one of the members and his mother about what to call a vagina. Still, this video stands out as memorable, not only because when the song came out it was a tad risqué, but also watching grown men in monkey suits doesn’t get old.

Peaches- The Presidents of the United States of America

This video made no damn sense, but that’s what the Presidents were about (still are I’m sure I haven’t listened to any of their new music though.) It is a song about how awesome peaches are (maybe there is a deeper meaning, but I don’t know it) and while they are jamming amongst peach trees they are attacked by ninjas. Ninjas and peaches what’s better?

California Love- Tupac feat Dr. Dre

A fantastic song and a video that is a straight rip off from the original Mad Max movies. This is by far the best jam on today’s blog, when this song comes on everyone jams out, so it was only right that it was matched with an classic video.

Weapon of Choice- Fatboy Slim

This video has Christopher Walken Dancing. Do I need to say anything else? I didn’t think so.

What videos do you remember for our youth?