Welcome, welcome! It has been about two months since I last
gave you guys an installment of my ‘Movies That You Should Sit Down and Watch’
series, and you are probably wondering where in the wide world of sports I have been. Well, I was
chilling with Carmen San Diego at the V.I.L.E. headquarters, but there were also
other things going on that I talked about here and again here.
But now I am back for part five of my series! I think the
last time out I promised this would be the sports version, though I am not
about to go back and look so even if I didn’t say that I did now. Yes, that
means it is time for me to discuss Space
Jam!!! How exciting is that? So exciting I used three exclamation points.
When people list sports movies they usually throw in Hoosiers, but I will not. That movie
sucked, and it will never be on a list of mine. Sorry, Gene you’re movie was lame
and not at all interesting, but hey Barbara Hershey was in Hoosiers and is in one
of the films is listed below (The Natural)
so that counts right? There are a couple movies that I wish I had space for today like Mighty Ducks, Remember the Titans, and Kingpin, among several others which will
appear on the next installment of the sports version, but they must wait their
turn.
Let me stop keeping you up here with mindless dribble and get to the point of us gathering today, so without further ado
here is some classic sports films: enjoy.
The Harder They Fall (1956)- Mark Robson; Columbia Pictures Corporation
The Harder They Fall is
a fantastic movie that goes behind the scenes of the corruption that plagued the
sport of boxing, but that is not the only reason I am leading off with this
film. This also marked the final performance of one of my favorite actors of
all time Humphrey Bogart, who died shortly after the film’s release. He put in
a brilliant performance to end his career playing Eddie Willis a sports writer
hired by a sleaze ball fight promoter to aide in generating excitement for a
new fighter. Bogart looked ill during the film, yet he still delivered a
memorable performance which only added to his legend as one of the greatest
actors of all time.
Sadly this is the only film to make the list from my favorite
sport of Hockey, but at least it is a great one. “Dan, what about Mighty Ducks or Miracle?” Both OK films
but not better than the ones on this list, and do either of those have Paul
Newman? Nope, I didn’t think so. Well, Slap Shot
has Mr. Newman and he is fantastic as
the player coach of the Charleston Chiefs Reg Dunlop. The movie has great
hockey scenes paired with goofy slapstick off-ice shenanigans that all the
sports comedies following would take influence from.
Every player on the Chiefs is a character and each of the
main ones are well developed by screen writer Nancy Dowd. Dowd also created a ridiculous
array of villains such as Tim ‘Dr. Hook’ McCracken, Ross ‘Mad Dog’ Madison,
Clarence Screaming Buffalo’ Swampton, and the legendary Ogie Ogilthorpe who all
come together on the same team to battle the chiefs for the championship. With
an ending to the game that is just absurd as the rest of the movie, this film
will keep you laughing from start to finish, if it doesn’t I really don’t know
if we can be friends.
P.S. My birthday is coming up in August, so if anyone wants
to buy me an Ogie Ogilthorpe Syracuse Bulldogs’ jersey it would be appreciated, I'll even take the tee-shirt jersey version.
Take an all-star comedy cast, including Chevy Chase, Bill
Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, and Ted Knight, add in mayhem at a golf course and
what you get is one of the funniest and most timeless comedies of all time.
From memorable one-liners to slapstick antics this film has everything a comedy
fan could want and it has enough suspenseful golf play to make it an all time
classic sports films as well.
There just isn’t a scene where Dangerfield, Chase, or Murray
is on the screen that isn’t memorable. I can quote this movie all day; in fact
one day at work I pretty much did just that. My poor co-workers, some of them
others are just too dumb for words and I don’t care if I annoy them, actually I
don’t care if I annoy anyone. If they don’t like Caddyshack quotes being tossed around all day there is something
wrong with them.
If you haven’t seen this movie yet the pond is better for
you, so remember to keep kangaroos away from your ball and go watch the movie:
after all we’re all getting laid.
This is beyond the greatest sports film ever made it is one of
the greatest films of all time period. Robert De niro puts in the best
performance of his career which is saying something considering all of his
classic performances and was rewarded with his second Oscar (the first for
actor in a leading role). It wasn’t just the acting that was impressive from De
Niro, but also his physical transformation for the scenes of young Jake Lamotta
to old Jake. Joe Pesci supports him playing Jake Lamotta’s older brother in his
own Oscar nominated performance.
Raging Bull also
gave Martin Scorsese his first well deserved Oscar nomination. How he did not
win is beyond me. Every scene is brilliant especially the scenes of the actual
boxing matches, which are only maybe ten minutes of the film, yet took nearly
two months to film, and the result is some of the most brilliant work in all of
film. This is the film he deserved to win an Academy Award for. It is far superior
in every way to his film The Departed
which eventually won him the award that previously eluded him.
I could go on for a while about this film, but I won’t
because I have others to get to, so just go watch it and see what I am talking
about.
A farm boy strikes out the Whammer, who at the time was the
greatest hitter in baseball, in three pitches and he was on his way to being a
legendary pitcher when some hot little number shot him in the stomach before
jumping out a hotel window to her death. Bitches can be mad crazy from time to
time. Fast forward a few years when some old guy gets called up to the big
leagues to assist a terrible team improve.
People begin to wonder where he came from, and soon his checkered past
comes to light.
Robert Redford does a wonderful job playing the subdued
superstar ballplayer and is paired with a superb supporting cast which included
Glen Close (nominated for best supporting actress), Robert Duvall, Kim
Bassinger, Wilford Brimley, and a nice appearance from Michael Madsen as the
arrogant superstar Bump Bailey. Though the movie contains baseball situations that
are completely wrong and implausible it is still a great story, I mean really
what sports movie doesn’t have goofs related to the games they depict?
A snobby new owner set on moving the team to Florida because
she can’t stand Cleveland puts together a roster of dim-wits, half-wits, over
the hill players, freaks, geeks, and one bad ass motherfucker so the team could
be awful and she could get her wish. As in most sports underdog movies the evil
owner loses as the team strives for greatness once Wild Thing (Charlie Sheen)
gets a prescription filled and is a bit less wild. All the while hilarity ensues
on the field, in the locker-room, and off the field as the Indians look to beat
the rival Yankees for a pennant. This is
one of my favorite comedies and I have seen it an abundance of times and still
laugh every time: that folks, is a sign of a timeless classic.
What do you get when you toss random ingredients such as
Michael Jordan, Looney Tunes, Newman, high profile NBA stars, Danny DeVito, and
Bill Fucking Murray? You get a piece of cinematic genius and one of the
greatest sports movies ever. Of course this was going to be on my first list of
sports movies because it is super duper fucking awesome. I mean, with all those
parts working together how could you screw up? There was a time when I first
got this movie on VHS where my brothers and I watched it nearly every day, and
now I own the super deluxe two disc sick special edition which has given me the
ability to quote the shit out of this movie. I haven’t even mentioned what may
be the greatest soundtrack ever paired with a movie, so get your Haines on,
lace up your Nikes, grab your Wheaties and Gatorade, and we’ll pick up a Big Mac
on the way to watch this film in my living room: and no, Dan Akroyd is not in
this picture.
It has one of Denzel Washington’s best performances (in his top
ten at least, the dude is super talented, though this film has his best hairdo
by far), should I even say anything else? I do? It is one of Spike Lee’s best ‘joints’
(not weed stupid that is what Lee calls all of his films). A film about a high
school basketball star, Jesus Shuttlesworth (played by NBA star Ray Allen), and
his struggles with the corruption that lurks around every corner trying to
influence the decision that he must make regarding his future. This is further complicated
by his father’s (Washington) timely release from prison.
Winner of four Academy Awards Million Dollar Baby starts off as a tale of determination to chase
dreams, but it ends in a sad tale of dealing with difficult situations and the
power of friendship. The films brilliance earned Eastwood his second Oscar for
his work behind the camera, it helped that in front of the camera he was nominated
for best actor in a leading role and was paired with Hilary Swank who won for
best actress and the always wonderful Morgan freeman who won an Academy Award
for best supporting actor. A film about
boxing that is also an emotional rollercoaster.
Darren Aronofsky teamed up with screen writer Robert Siegel to
give Mickey Rourke the role he was born to play. Rourke portrays an aging
wrestler who struggles with his life as he is faced with retiring. Rourke looks
like a man whom had been beaten up by life and in a ring so he fit the
character perfectly and along with fantastic performances from Marissa Tomei
and Evan Rachel Wood who play his stripper love interest and estranged daughter
respectively. What this mix brings is a wonderful story that is more about the
struggles of life than it is about sport and is another film that makes you feel all sorts of feels
if you have emotions like a normal person, but if you’re like me it is just a
real good film. On top of the all that relevant film info the final scene was
shot in my old home town of Dover, so it's got that going for it.
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